That awkward waning

The grim smile, that fateful sign of rigor mortis in our friendship

I’ve seen it before, sadly, yes, I know it well.

In the polite stilted exchanges in the kitchen

Where the silence echoes accusingly and rattles the space between us

The distracted, pained pleasantry of small talk when once we talked big

.

I could have sworn I felt your sweetness turning saccharine

and now indeed my teeth ache with unnecessarily sugared politeness

But it does nothing to mask the bitter taste below

You may feign the fire to simulate warmth

but I still feel cold

.

Do I know what I’ve done, I wonder

Did I do anything at all?

It could be the passage of time as you weary of me and choose another

It could just be “one of those things”

But I always worry

Was it inevitable or did I help?

I can be stuck in the clouds at times I know

Maybe it seems I mean to keep aloof

But I promise you, I’ve always been here

And I’ve always cared. Did you not feel that?

Oh, I hope I’ve not driven you away

All I know is we’re not the same

And I’m not sure what to do about it.

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