The grim smile, that fateful sign of rigor mortis in our friendship
I’ve seen it before, sadly, yes, I know it well.
In the polite stilted exchanges in the kitchen
Where the silence echoes accusingly and rattles the space between us
The distracted, pained pleasantry of small talk when once we talked big
I could have sworn I felt your sweetness turning saccharine
and now indeed my teeth ache with unnecessarily sugared politeness
But it does nothing to mask the bitter taste below
You may feign the fire to simulate warmth
but I still feel cold
Do I know what I’ve done, I wonder
Did I do anything at all?
It could be the passage of time as you weary of me and choose another
It could just be “one of those things”
But I always worry
Was it inevitable or did I help?
I can be stuck in the clouds at times I know
Maybe it seems I mean to keep aloof
But I promise you, I’ve always been here
And I’ve always cared. Did you not feel that?
Oh, I hope I’ve not driven you away
All I know is we’re not the same
And I’m not sure what to do about it.